you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
