drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
