Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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