Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
