dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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