Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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