So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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