So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
my poor anus
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
