Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
