Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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