Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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