A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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