im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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