The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
