Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
