Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
