Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
