Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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