Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
