No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
