"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
