The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
