I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
