I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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