I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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