I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
