we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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