I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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