I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She even gives head with a lisp.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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