I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
