he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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