im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize