ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
