Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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