Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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