I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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