Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
