He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
