Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
