Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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