Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
