I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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