I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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