Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish I only lived at night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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