I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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