i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
