Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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