Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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