I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Farmville is her only friend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
