Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize