I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
