No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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