so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Terrible idea I love it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
