I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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