we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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