My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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