May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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