where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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