I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
