I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
