y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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