Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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