Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
