I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize