and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
