I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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