I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize