look no pants
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
