Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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